I WAS HAVING THIS STRANGE DREAM ABOUT HOT DOGS AND BAGELS...

If you force yourself on your partner while you’re sleeping at night you may not simply be a horny bastard but could actually be suffering from a newly created medical condition called “sexsomnia,” defined as “making sexual advances toward another person while asleep.” Obviously this is a difficult field to research properly, but scientists assure us that it is much less common than sleepwalking, which affects between two and four percent of the population. While you would think this is a basically harmless problem, researchers claim that sexsomniacs cause serious problems in their relationships. “Most of the time sleep sex occurs between people who are already partners,” said one of the world’s only doctors studying this field. “Sometimes they hate it. Sometimes they tolerate it. On rare occasions you have stories of people liking it better than waking sex.” (New Scientist)