Someday some corporation of uber-dorks will perfect the fully-functional robot wife, but probably not as early as June 13, when the website Perfect-woman.com claims it will begin selling “Lisa,” the world’s first robot wife/sex doll/servant. Go check out the creepy video and if you’re really desperate you can suspend your disbelief and pre-order your perfect dream robot to fulfill all your adolescent fantasies. According to the fake interview with the fake creators of this fake machine “Lisa can cook you a meal based on what is in the fridge. She can go shopping, do household work or give you a hydraulic massage, but she can also play chess and video games and even learn to do certain sports.” And ladies, don’t fret... the website promises “man version available soon!”

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