380 WAYS TO WASTE YOUR TIME ON THE INTERNET

It’s incredible the sacrifices I make for my readers. For example, I read all the way up to No. 150 on a website called “380 Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate” before I got too bored. Luckily, I found enough good ones to write this blurb for you: pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep; inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG; collect all your urine in a small jug; buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can, then pretend to masturbate while reading them; invite a homeless person to live in your room and sleep in your roommate’s bed. Get the entire list at Linuxsavvy.com/staff/jgotts/roommate.html