THE GOOD NEWS - YOU NOW HAVE A SEX SLAVE; THE BAD NEWS - IT’S YOUR OLD HUSBAND

The mayor of a small town in Brazil has decided to create the happiest senior citizens on Earth with a new program called Pinto Alegre (Happy Penis). The cunning plan gives the elderly residents of the town free Viagra in order to spice up their lives. “Since we started the free distribution of sexual stimulants, our elderly population changed. They’re much happier,” said mayor Joao de Souza Luz. The only problem of the new program has been a sharp increase in extra-marital affairs as the men aren’t always keen on using their new powers on their old wives. To solve this, the new policy is to give the Viagra to the women of the town, who can now dole it out to their husbands when they want some action. (Reuters)