GETTING NAILED IN THE HAND LESSONS

A 911 call to a the home in South Wales last week had the police discover a man with his hand nailed to a coffee table. Strangely enough this news report had no other details, with police reporting that they were unsure if the incident was an accident or a prank, and that there were “no suspicious circumstances” surrounding the event. Okay... ho-hum news, but it reminded me of a much more interesting tidbit from 2004, when a man in Harland, Maine was forced to call 911 after trying to commit suicide by nailing himself to a home-made crucifix. Police reported that the man had nailed two pieces of wood together on the floor of his living room. After scrawling the world “suicide” on the cross, he proceeded to nail down one of his hands. At that point the man was forced to dial 911 after he realized that he wouldn’t be able to nail his other hand to the board. Police also added that they weren’t sure if the man called 911 to get assistance with his injury or to get help in nailing his other hand down. They wisely chose to take him to hospical and remove the cross from his arm.