SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE COWS

It’s been quite some time since the aliens have been fucking with our cows, but it seems that they’re back. A rancher in Colorado discovered the mutilated remains of one of his cows lying on the riverbed last week.The animal was found dead missing its udders and reproductive organs with no sign of blood, tracks or predators in the area. The rancher, Mike Duran, firmly believes that aliens are responsible especially since he has seen flying disks in the air above his property. “We have other life out there and I think that’s what it is,” said Duran, who believes that aliens abducted the cow, carved it up for whatever bizarre experiments they might be carrying out, and then dropped the cow back in the river rather than carving it up for a nice steak dinner (maybe ETs are vegetarians). The Sheriff’s office has investigated this case (along with a previous cow mutilation on the same ranch in 1995) but haven’t been able to solve either on. “It’s one of those unsolved mysteries I guess,” said Duran. (MSNBC)